At some point, the victims of domestic violence come out with a plan to survive and to be free from their abusers. In most cases, victims deny the occurrence of violence to deal with the maltreatment. Others will try to forget it, in hopes to easily accept the situation. Some uses drugs and alcohol to kill the pain. Many victims of domestic violence feel responsible about the abusive behavior of their partners. This response is oftentimes egged on by the abuser, putting all the blame to the victim.
Many victims of domestic violence stay in an abusive relationship, there are many factors why. One factor is the person’s upbringing, religious and cultural constraints. But truth is, no reason will validate the occurrence of abuse. One of the reasons why people choose to stay is fear. Victims fear about what is there to happen when and after they leave.
Here’s an important question and the answers that most victims of abuse need to know. Can you take your children with you when you leave? (*) Yes, you can absolutely take your children with you only if you can do it safely. It may be more difficult later for you to protect them when you have already distanced yourself from the abuser. (*) Get legal custody of them within a few days. This is of the utmost importance. Many of the groups listed in this book may help you find assistance. (*) If you do not have your children with you, it may be difficult filing for temporary custody of your children. The parent who has physical possession of the children may and usually have an advantage of getting temporary custody. Include your children in your safety plan to avoid unnecessary loopholes. (*) Your partner may try to kidnap, threaten or harm the children in order to get you to return. It is important to warn your children’s school of who are allowed to pick them up. Inform your neighbors as well that you have already left the abuser and no longer share accommodations with him. (*) If you are in immediate danger and cannot take your children, contact the police immediately to arrange for temporary protective custody. (This does not mean you will lose custody. Permanent custody will be decided later by a judge).
Another important question is: “Where do I go?” (*) Stay with a friend or relatives. Now, the abuser will most likely look for you at your family’s home. It is essential for your survival to go to a relative that wholly supports your decision to leave. (*) If you are a woman, do not stay with a man unless he is a relative. Living with a man you are not married to could hurt your chances of getting custody of your children and spousal support. The abusers legal adviser can use this as an argument at court. It could also cause conflict with your abuser. Living with a man will further infuriate the abuser and will cause severe retaliation. (*) Go to a battered women’s shelter with your children. The staff there can help you get legal and financial help as well as provide counseling and emotional support for you and your children. (*) Call 911 because it is a good start. The police now have established protocols for domestic abuse calls and will fairly enforce the law against the said violence. Domestic violence is now considered as a serious threat and is recognized by the state of law.
If you are one of the victims of abuse, there’s nothing more important than your life, your children and your safety. Others should be considered secondary.
Tags: blue movement, domestic abuse, domestic violence, social issues, victims of abuse, victims of domestic violence, Women